How do you say ...

I've never been in the position where I've known that someone I love is going to pass away, until now.  My beautiful Nan had been fighting cancer and we were all called in to the hospital last week to be told that she didn't have much time left.

Looking at my Nan all frail in a hospital bed was a heart stopping moment for me. My Nan has never been frail. Everyone referred to her as 'strong as an ox' and while she wasn't physically strong anymore, she was still strong willed.

Many who visited asked her if she was in much pain. They were concerned for her wellbeing of course. But my Nan's response was 'don't you start that'. Even on her sick bed she has no time for feeling sorry for herself!

My Nan was born in September 1926 the same year the Queen was born. Every year I'd say to her 'how old is the Queen this year Nan?' 

Sadly my Nan didn't make it to 86 as the Queen has done.

My Nan had 11 children, four girls and seven boys and then there are the grandchildren, great-grandchildren and even a handful of great, great-grandchildren.

There are many, many fond memories I have of my Nan. I remember:

When I was just four or so being raced into the bedroom by my Nan as she turned off the television - no sound was allowed - we were hiding from the Jehovah's Witnesses.

Going to have tea and toast at the home of one of my Nan's friends after being picked up from Kinder. That was the first time I tried marmalade - I thought I was very special.

When I was sick and being force-fed a spoonful of honey before having to race out the door to catch the school bus. This one isn't such a fond memory: to this day I still don't like honey. But it is something that makes me look back and smile though.

Watching my Nan make lamingtons, sponge cakes, bake bread etc.  Of course, there was no better cook than my Nan. Somehow even parsley was nice when my Nan added it to her scrambled eggs!

We lived right next door to my Nan when I was young. She looked after us while Mum and Dad worked. Such good memories. I am a lucky girl to have been able to spend so much time with her while I was young.

Some of the hardest times during this past week have been seeing my family in tears, especially seeing my Dad, sitting beside Nan's bedside, holding her hand and crying... heart-wrenching.

There are more tears to come when we say our final goodbye on Friday...

Rest peacefully my beautiful Nan. You loved and were loved by so many. We will miss you. Thank you for the wonderful memories I will cherish forever.

Love Angie xxx